chapter fifteen
Family Isn't Always Blood
My breath is heavy, my legs rhythmically pounding the pavement as I ran through the crowd of people on the sidewalk. My legs, my entire body is sore from running for over an hour. I’m in physical pain but I can’t help but smile. It’s nearing the end of August, and my mind is filled with the memories of this past summer. It was the best summer I could have ever asked for.
This new city has fit the lifestyle I’ve always imagined that I would live. Of course, I’ve always imagined it with Jaxon by my side. However, I have to admit and it is bittersweet, but I absolutely love my life now. Never in a million years would I trade the hardship, the pain, the heartbreak, the loss, and the insecurities it came with for anything else! Without the struggle I would not have been able to rebuild myself and acknowledge my progress. I know I still have a long way to go, but I can’t help but smile and be happy with everything that has happened to me thus far this past summer.
As I continued my run, I found myself tearing up from the happy memories I accumulated. I may be living away from my family, my long term friends, and going through a complete life change, but I didn’t let that deter me from making unforgettable memories. My heart filled with love as I reminisced about the people I’ve met and the great summer I spent with them.
I have an extremely supportive family. We may not always get along all the time, but I love them so much that words cannot even describe. Sometimes I take them for granted and I may not show them that I appreciate them, but when Jax and I broke up none of that mattered and they were more supportive than ever. We may be miles apart from each other but sometimes I feel like they are just next-door because I know that they are only a phone call away. But that’s family. Friends are different.
One of the many things I learned from being with Jax and having a strong relationship with his family is that family doesn't necessarily have to be blood or tied with a legal document.
In the short time that I lived in the new city, I made life long friendships. Maybe it’s because we all don’t have family living in the same city and we have to rely and lean on each other. Because my family are miles away, I leaned on my friends a lot and they have all been essential to my growth and healing. They provided shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, hugs to give, love to share, and great advice that I probably should have listened to more often but didn’t because I’m stubborn as a mule! However, they all have helped me overcome my insecurities, which ultimately led me to come out of my shell and find the person that I truly am. I couldn't have asked for more and I do not deserve the love, but I will be forever grateful to each and everyone one of them.
My great summer began in May upon meeting the summer student at my work; I call her the ‘Little One.’ She is this beautiful young lady who showed me that there is maturity and strength in everyone no matter what age you are. She was always up for an adventure and I loved spending every minute I could with her. Her young energy is contagious and I absorbed as much as I could like a sponge. Without her sense of adventure and always inviting me out, I would have locked myself in my apartment and wallowed in my own self-pity. Instead with every invitation she gave me, I forced myself to go, and by the end of the day I never regretted going because I always had a blast no matter what we did.
My ‘Brazilian’ coworker is as mature, if not more due to her experiences in life as the ‘Little One.’ Since ‘The Brazilian’ and I sit adjacent to each other at work, she has listened and helped me the most regarding Jaxon and my dating life. She has helped guide me and given me the greatest advice. Unfortunately, I don’t listen to her all the time and I tend to learn the hard way. I think she is tired rolling her eyes at me and saying, “I told you so” almost every day. However, she still shows me love and I know that she will always care for me, no matter how stubborn I am.
My other female co-worker shows strength through her knowledge and professionalism. Through example she has taught me to find strength and confidence in myself, not just at work, but also through difficult relationships and everyday hardships as a young woman and a professional.
My ‘Busy Bee’ male co-worker is one of the most patient people I know. He is always willing to share his knowledge, whether it is about photography, the newest gadgets, or snowboarding, learning from him has been fulfilling. He is fairly witty, and tends to make fun of me a lot, which I can’t help but laugh with him because it is part of his charm. The best thing about him is that even though he is busy with other commitments outside of work, he is always up for an adventure.
My old classmate (who recommended me for my job in my new city) and his girlfriend are the most carefree couple that I know. ‘The Couple,’ has shown me that a great relationship is built from a foundation, not just filled with love, but also with teamwork, a strong friendship, support, trust, and communication. I love every minute I spend with them. They never make me feel like a third wheel when it’s just us three hanging out. Their positive and caring attitude is contagious, and the best thing is that they are always there to give group hugs when needed.
And finally, my ‘New City Soul Mate’ . . . I am a true believer that everyone has several soul mates in their lives and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship. I have been very lucky, I have several soul mates that I’ve accumulated throughout my lifetime; obviously Jaxon is one. Another soul mate is my best friend from grade 6 who has been with me through thick and thin. She has stood by me when I was a lying, attention seeking teenage bitch. She remained my friend because she believed in me. And my other hometown soul mate is my male red headed best friend. We met at work not that long ago and we got along almost instantly. When we are together we’re constantly loud, giggling and making jokes. But we can also be really serious with one another. We can easily talk about the most vulnerable topics and be there for one another even though we are miles apart.
My ‘New City Soulmate’ has affected my life just like my other soul mates have. She has brought happiness to my life. She is not just beautiful in the outside; she is also genuine and extremely beautiful inside. She is tough, yet sweet; she is smart, yet goofy; she is independent, yet vulnerable; she is confident, yet humble. Her and I have shared some of the most romantic moments I’ve ever had in my life. We’ve watched sunsets and sunrises together, we’ve hiked some of the most gorgeous trails that I’ve ever seen, and we’ve danced on the beach under the stars. Together we are giggling fools. We are loud and full of life. She has made moving forward easy. Even without her presence her advice, support, and love is there for me always.
Family isn’t always blood and therefore I consider myself extremely lucky to have found such wonderful people in my life that I love and love me so dearly. If it weren’t for each and every one of them, I would have struggled to heal. They have helped me face my weaknesses head on and helped me let go of everything I feared. I entered the summer fearing loneliness, regret, and loss . . . but I ended the summer with no fear and filled with more love and happiness that I could have asked for and have more confidence in myself than ever before!
“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in the way they are.”
REFLECTIONS / LESSONS LEARNED:
“Find your tribe and love them hard!” - Unknown
I consider myself very lucky! My family is amazing! Even though we fight (because we don’t agree on everything . . . shocking!) we love each other and are there for one another no matter what. My family played a major role in my healing. Family will always be there for you because they pretty much have to . . . they’re blood and they’ve loved you since you were born. It’s second nature for family to be by your side no matter what.
Friends are a whole different story. When your friends are there for you, it’s because they care and love you. Like I said I am very lucky because I not only had the support of my family but my really good friends. I surround myself with the most amazing people who are there when I need a hug, when I need a shoulder to cry on, where I don't have to be afraid of my opinions, my thoughts, my emotions because they do not judge me.
It is imperative in the healing process to have people who you can trust and care about you that are willing to just hear you out, aren’t afraid to tell you the brutal truth (no matter how much it may hurt you), and just love you no matter what. The friends that are close will not be afraid to let you know when they have heard enough about your breakup or your heartaches or your fucked up dating life. Make sure that you have a thick skin and don’t get offended by their honesty. Always remember that they have stood by you during your lowest moments and they will only tell you that they are tired of hearing about your breakup when they know that you are strong enough to handle it. Appreciate them and be grateful because not everyone has friends that are like family.
🎧 - Thirty Seconds To Mars: City Of Angels
📺 - Friends (TV Show)
🤾♀️🚴🏻🏊🏻🏃🏻♀️ - Running
FEEDBACK / COMMENTS / THOUGHTS /YOUR REFLECTION / ANSWER QUESTIONS BELOW:
Who is part of your ‘tribe’?
What qualities do your friends have that you admire?
In what ways have your friends help you to grow?